The Clarion Call to Biblical Manhood
- icmarquez
- May 26, 2019
- 6 min read
Image source: Google Image
What does it mean to be a man?
A lot of things happened to me that made me go through such pain (even mild depression) these recent months of February to May of 2019. I have been assigned to a new team at work (new technology and starting a service from scratch) and I've also been questioning God why He's taking people in my life from me. Don't get me wrong, I'm questioning God because I want to have a deeper and fuller understanding of His character - His love and sovereignty, why He allowed me to go through so much. I've lost my grandmother and mother who both raised me up last 2017. It was a blow to me, but my emotions were suppressed and I've only released them slowly over time during multiple nights talking with God. What helped me heal some of the pain was to read the book 'For One More Day' by Mitch Albom. It was a gift given to me by my 'ate' from Church and I'm really thankful to God for her life. It's too hard when I look back and remember all the things I didn't do while my 'Mama' and 'Inay' were still around. After some months, my bestfriend migrated to US. Now, those who God gave me as a pillar of support, He seems to be removing again. God is teaching me to rely on Him alone and be satisfied in Him alone. After an agonizing period of prayer and asking God, He reminded me of His grace (2 Corinthians 12:9). God says to me that He is sovereign and that I do not need to be stuck in the past or my current situation, that my situation does not define me - only He does. He impressed in me to look ahead because the future is bright (Isaiah 43:1-2, 18-19). Now he calls me to rise and man up like Gideon despite my questions about my abilities (see Judges 6:12-16).
Looking back at my life, I have found it easier to open up to women than to men. And I can say that my childhood experience (having no father to guide me; being a mama's boy and growing up exposed to video games with no social life) has been a big factor in shaping my way of thinking and behavior. Currently, I am enrolled in Leadership 113, a ten-month training course in Victory that teaches on the following: Evangelism, Discipleship, Leadership, Christian Living and Biblical Studies. But more than the lessons that I learn in class; I'm really grateful to God for the community that I met during this season (shoutout to my groupmates - Table 13 specially Tegeytey).
I've met great mature women of faith in the class. It completely changed my perception of women and I can finally understand how they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. If God's design was for men to lead these women, I've had a lot of thoughts on how can we as men lead them God's way?
Following these events, I've come to search for what it really means to be a man. We need to recover true Biblical Manhood, living as men not as defined by the world but as men whose identity rests in Christ alone. Some books I've read are: 'Real Men are Pogi' by Ardy Roberto, 'Act Like a Man' by Dennis Sy and 'The Five Marks of a Man' by Brian Tome. I've yet to read more manhood books and seek some mentoring. But upon reading just these three books, I ask myself "Where are the godly men who are sold out for Christ; those who would live to sacrifice themselves for God and others?"
It's just shocking to see the gender gap, how there are so many women compared to men that actively serves God in the church. More than 60% of church population comprise of women. Considering this gender gap, there is even fewer men who are 'godly men' while there are so many 'christian boys' of that remaining 40% or less (I also have a lot to work on to be a godly man). When I say christian boys, these are men who actively serve in the church but have not yet really grasped the whole idea of embracing manhood - considering the realities of life and preparing themselves for the next season of life.
In my observation of the world we live in today, I can say that we live in a fatherless generation. I too, come from such a background. Statistics show the alarming rate of fatherless homes. According to fathers.com:
"More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency."
This has taken grave consequences in families, particularly to the children who were raised in such homes. In fact, studies have shown that majority of the crimes today come from these backgrounds. It is more important than ever not just to have physically present fathers, but to have emotionally present fathers as well in our homes today. Would we let popular culture and the ways of the world teach our kids today what it means to live as men and women?
The absence of an emotionally present father has devastating effects to the children. Boys in particular have been raised today to stand on their own, to be independent (don't ask for help, figure it out, don't admit failure, be a self-made man) and to keep their emotions to themselves. We've basically been taught that emotions, tears and crying are for girls only. This leads men to bottle up their emotions without a healthy avenue to release them. So what's the result? Men who succumb to different vices we know today: pornography, smoking, drugs, gambling, drinking, boys preying on girls, etc. Girls who grew from emotionally absent fathers try to find affection and acceptance from the wrong places leading them to be victims of those boys who prey on girls. That is why rape, teenage pregnancy and premarital sex is so prevalent today. Chastity and purity has lost its value.
Men, we need to rise and protect the women and children! Especially today that we are in the digital age, the enemy is working double time to destroy and lead people away from God (John 10:10).
It is a clarion call for us men to band together and be the man God calls us to be. Notice the life of David, how he has Jonathan by his side and they were open with each other to be vulnerable. Some people today question whether they are homosexual but that is far from the truth, we should understand the context before coming to such conclusion. Besides, the Hebrew word for "love" used in 1 Samuel 18:1 has clear political and diplomatic connotations. Today, we as men need a Jonathan in our lives whom we can be open to. Though I myself am an introvert, I'm grateful to God for sending godly men in my life as my accountability partners to keep me grounded and to keep me from falling away.
We have to take action and take a stand! We have to break the cycle and to intentionally disciple more men. We need a community of men who desires to honor God and pursues the qualities of those mentioned by Paul in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 (though its context is for overseers). Just envision a future where we have more godly men answering the call of God to serve Him and others wholeheartedly! I know this would take generations to really grow but I believe we can do this, let's start to build a stronger community of men who embraces the same vision.
In the book 'The Five Marks of a Man' by Brian Tome, he mentions something about 'Man Camp' that he implemented in their church (Crossroads). It's like a retreat where men gather together to disconnect from the digital world and into the wild, doing activities that our forefathers did, activities that are out of our comfort zones to promote the five marks of a man: men have a vision, men take a minority position, men are team players, men work, men are protectors. I desire to do something the same in our local community and make it regular, so please message me if you too are interested in making this come true. Together, let's start a ministry for men to build each other up and to be better leaders who model Christ.
As a side note: Reading Judges 7 reminded me of the movie '300' Spartans (though it was based on The Battle of Thermopylae), it inspires me to see that a small group of solid men (Gideon's 300) banded together under God's banner and rallied together to fight for His glory.
To all the women reading this who are waiting for the godly men that God prepared for them, don't compromise on your standards. Bear with us men as we develop to be the man God calls us to be. Pray also for us that we will grow and multiply more.
Soli deo Gloria!
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